Dearest Sister,
I think of you and miss who I once knew you to be. I miss days of laughing until our sides ached. Your life is like the waning moon, dimmer than it used to be. Still beautiful, still enchanting, but reflecting less light. You've given up hope, but I haven't. I miss you-we all do. Life 'before' probably seems like a wisp of dream faintly recalled. Maybe by now, it is easier to return to drugs and alcohol which promise escape but slowly strangle you instead. Sobriety brings shame and you've yet to forgive yourself. You hide your nakedness...why? We are all naked before God. Not one of us is perfect or deserving of forgiveness and grace.
I see you punish yourself and I watch you let others, who can't be trusted, abuse you. I so understand the fear of being alone and abandoned. But you've been fighting on your own terms and losing. Why is accepting God's mercy so much harder?
Somewhere deep in my soul, I wait for the call that you aren't here anymore. The beautiful memories of the happiest baby in the world will only exist in my mind. I grieve losing you and it feels like you are already most of the way gone.
What would you do if I died tomorrow? Who would you tell and why would I have mattered? I feel that if for no other reason, you owe it to me to fight your way free. If you leave, my echo in this wide world will vanish too. In your presence, I know that the early part of my life was real-not imagined-and not only that, but I've survived it. If you are gone, who will share my laughter? Who with remember going to Granny's farm, bumping over cattle grates and onto gravel with me?
I've never known why, but I've always felt you don't like yourself. Are you fundamentally less valuable than the next person? If you were the last girl on earth, Jesus would still brave the cross just for you. He loves you in a way that you can't understand. Of all the people in your life, Jesus is the one who doesn't want anything from you. He wants things FOR you. He wants to give you His love, peace, joy, freedom...all of those things you can't give yourself.
I too am waiting for you. I am standing on this side of life watching you fade and it breaks my heart! You still have life to live; don't give up! We haven't; we are all pulling for you; we are all praying for you, but not one of us can take away your free will.
What do you have to lose that you haven't already lost? We all want you to win. I know that you can. Even more importantly, God says that you can.
I love you!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Free to Leave; Free to Live
I am sitting on my couch in Alaska, the house is insulated by 2 feet of freshly fallen snow, and the winter darkness warps the sense of cozy that I usually feel. Truthfully, I am feeling bereft and simultaneously angry. About eight months ago, Brad and I learned we'd be moving again. It was an expected move and we were thankful to move here. Shortly after we learned of our assignment, I received an unexpected call from my 18 year old niece. I heard my mother-in-law (whom I love dearly) urging her to "ask her!" It seems that my niece was experiencing difficulties at home and she and my mother-in-law hatched a plan...she wanted to move to Alaska with us.
At first, Brad and I were shocked. Truthfully, we had many concerns about her lifestyle there. We worried that allowing her to join our family would somehow bring other 'influences' into the lives of our young and impressionable children. At the same time, we could not deny that God has brought us to a point that we were able to be a family to someone who needed it. After much discussion, prayer, and deliberation, we agreed that she could come with us provided that she follow our family rules. Basically, our rules amount to no fornication, intoxication, or inhalation with the caveat of church on Sunday. Not to sound prudish, but these seemed easy and obvious.
I was thrilled to have a companion to move with me. For this particular move, I'd planned to take the children and arrive in time for the school year to start; Brad had to attend a three month course in Florida to requalify in the jet. As soon as we arrived, my kids and Sarah enrolled in school. I immediately began teaching as an Adjunct Professor at UAA and life percolated along at an amazing pace. As an Air Force family, perhaps I assumed we would all move ahead...you know, in a forward direction, as in toward the future.
The kids and I jumped in with all four feet. But from day one, she refused to transplant. It seems she'd met a guy three weeks before she moved from home. Based on the side of their conversations I heard he was, at best, churlish and unmotivated. At worst, he was a high school drop out, sometime/part time Subway employee, and financially unsupportive father who lived with his grandmother. As women often do, she made him what she wanted him to be in her mind. In an appalling break from reality, she 'fell in love.' Any energy she had was spent looking back and wishing to be home. Sadly, she blew off her freshman year in college and never made any friends. Her days were spent on my couch with the tv on and her cell phone at the ready. All of the wonderful opportunities she had to begin anew were squandered.
Fast forward to a week ago. Her grandmother, who has been ill with cancer for many years, was hospitalized. I went to work one day and returned home to find that she'd sold her car, disenrolled from university, and was planning to move back home. Her stated reason was so that she could be with her grandmother. The breadcrumbs that I gathered hearing half of her telephone conversations indicated she was going back to move in with the boyfriend and live the life she wanted. I tamped down my emotions and laid all the pros and cons out in logical form. Together, Brad and I implored her to stay the three additional months until the year was out. Truly our goal was to help her through her freshman year. I longed for her to start something and finish it; not for me but for her. From the beginning, I admonished her to 'have a plan and not to quit.' Once one begins quitting, being a quitter becomes a pattern, the fall back impulse of a failing lifestyle.
I quite literally cried myself silly for two days. I remember her as a baby; she was such a fun little girl! At that time, her dad had been seriously injured in a car wreck. Her mother was occupied with seeing him through a traumatic brain injury. As a result, she was raised by her grandparents and doted on by aunts and uncles, myself included. She was such a joy to all of us. When I would take a break from classes, I'd pick her up and take her with me. The entire family cherished her; we all became invested in helping to bring her to adulthood.
My heart yearns for her to want a life! A life where the next party isn't the biggest high and where friends aren't queued up to take what little she has. Most of all, I pray that she will see the value God places on her and not sell herself-least of all so cheaply!
A small sliver of me now understands what God must feel when we choose the ugly over the beautiful; when we choose what we want and our 'plan' over His plan for us. After all, we have no idea what tomorrow will bring and absolutely no control over the future. We can only choose how we respond and I suspect that our response reveals the essence of our character.
I'm MAD! She doesn't realize what her decisions have cost us, nor does she care. At the same time, gosh I see myself reflected in her actions. I know that I too am guilty of the same offense. Each day, God hopes that I will stop and see all that He has given me. I know He wants me to see how much it costs him and to be thankful for those many blessings. In my own stubborn way, I offer up a fleeting prayer and forge ahead with what I've decided to do.
The sadness I feel is multifaceted, but I know that it is largely the result of seeing the promise of her life flicker and dim just a little. I feel helpless, because no one can make these choices for her. It's a bit like watching a car wreck in slow motion. The beauty in this place is that God never gives up. It contradicts His very nature to force us to love and serve Him. But He is always willing to take us back. As I pray for Sarah, I know that He will be waiting. It is my earnest prayer that she will see differently when truth shines on the life she has chosen; it will look cheap and tawdry like Las Vegas in full sunlight. And then, I pray she will choose him.
This situation is also an admonishment to me. I need to be living in such a way that it almost makes God's sacrifice worthwhile. I need to be running the race that is set before me.
At first, Brad and I were shocked. Truthfully, we had many concerns about her lifestyle there. We worried that allowing her to join our family would somehow bring other 'influences' into the lives of our young and impressionable children. At the same time, we could not deny that God has brought us to a point that we were able to be a family to someone who needed it. After much discussion, prayer, and deliberation, we agreed that she could come with us provided that she follow our family rules. Basically, our rules amount to no fornication, intoxication, or inhalation with the caveat of church on Sunday. Not to sound prudish, but these seemed easy and obvious.
I was thrilled to have a companion to move with me. For this particular move, I'd planned to take the children and arrive in time for the school year to start; Brad had to attend a three month course in Florida to requalify in the jet. As soon as we arrived, my kids and Sarah enrolled in school. I immediately began teaching as an Adjunct Professor at UAA and life percolated along at an amazing pace. As an Air Force family, perhaps I assumed we would all move ahead...you know, in a forward direction, as in toward the future.
The kids and I jumped in with all four feet. But from day one, she refused to transplant. It seems she'd met a guy three weeks before she moved from home. Based on the side of their conversations I heard he was, at best, churlish and unmotivated. At worst, he was a high school drop out, sometime/part time Subway employee, and financially unsupportive father who lived with his grandmother. As women often do, she made him what she wanted him to be in her mind. In an appalling break from reality, she 'fell in love.' Any energy she had was spent looking back and wishing to be home. Sadly, she blew off her freshman year in college and never made any friends. Her days were spent on my couch with the tv on and her cell phone at the ready. All of the wonderful opportunities she had to begin anew were squandered.
Fast forward to a week ago. Her grandmother, who has been ill with cancer for many years, was hospitalized. I went to work one day and returned home to find that she'd sold her car, disenrolled from university, and was planning to move back home. Her stated reason was so that she could be with her grandmother. The breadcrumbs that I gathered hearing half of her telephone conversations indicated she was going back to move in with the boyfriend and live the life she wanted. I tamped down my emotions and laid all the pros and cons out in logical form. Together, Brad and I implored her to stay the three additional months until the year was out. Truly our goal was to help her through her freshman year. I longed for her to start something and finish it; not for me but for her. From the beginning, I admonished her to 'have a plan and not to quit.' Once one begins quitting, being a quitter becomes a pattern, the fall back impulse of a failing lifestyle.
I quite literally cried myself silly for two days. I remember her as a baby; she was such a fun little girl! At that time, her dad had been seriously injured in a car wreck. Her mother was occupied with seeing him through a traumatic brain injury. As a result, she was raised by her grandparents and doted on by aunts and uncles, myself included. She was such a joy to all of us. When I would take a break from classes, I'd pick her up and take her with me. The entire family cherished her; we all became invested in helping to bring her to adulthood.
My heart yearns for her to want a life! A life where the next party isn't the biggest high and where friends aren't queued up to take what little she has. Most of all, I pray that she will see the value God places on her and not sell herself-least of all so cheaply!
A small sliver of me now understands what God must feel when we choose the ugly over the beautiful; when we choose what we want and our 'plan' over His plan for us. After all, we have no idea what tomorrow will bring and absolutely no control over the future. We can only choose how we respond and I suspect that our response reveals the essence of our character.
I'm MAD! She doesn't realize what her decisions have cost us, nor does she care. At the same time, gosh I see myself reflected in her actions. I know that I too am guilty of the same offense. Each day, God hopes that I will stop and see all that He has given me. I know He wants me to see how much it costs him and to be thankful for those many blessings. In my own stubborn way, I offer up a fleeting prayer and forge ahead with what I've decided to do.
The sadness I feel is multifaceted, but I know that it is largely the result of seeing the promise of her life flicker and dim just a little. I feel helpless, because no one can make these choices for her. It's a bit like watching a car wreck in slow motion. The beauty in this place is that God never gives up. It contradicts His very nature to force us to love and serve Him. But He is always willing to take us back. As I pray for Sarah, I know that He will be waiting. It is my earnest prayer that she will see differently when truth shines on the life she has chosen; it will look cheap and tawdry like Las Vegas in full sunlight. And then, I pray she will choose him.
This situation is also an admonishment to me. I need to be living in such a way that it almost makes God's sacrifice worthwhile. I need to be running the race that is set before me.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Family & Conflict
I am writing this post with a heart that has been bruised over many years. Certainly, my heart isn't where it needs to be on this matter and a great deal of personal time, thought, and emotional energy have been exhausted in this regard. First of all, God is good! He is the same today as he was yesterday and he will be the same tomorrow as he is today. All of the trials we experience are for His perfect plan, IF we will permit ourselves to be used in His service.
It is sometimes difficult to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and I don't particularly enjoy that sensation. However, most people I know struggle with their family: where they fit, how they feel, and how they relate within that group. So, I want to share these thoughts before Thanksgiving, because I am reminded that I have so much to be thankful for.
If one looked at my family tree, I'd suspect it would be an interesting tree. Not exactly pretty, but memorable. From a distance, it might look beautiful but a close inspection would illuminate all of it's many flaws. As a child, my brother and I went to live with my grandmother. My father was completing professional training at the time and needed help with us. For reasons that were never apparent to me until decades later, my mother left the family. I recall seeing her once when I was five. From then on, we had no contact that I remember. A year or two after she left, he remarried and subsequently had a child with this wife when I was seven. They divorced when I was 18 or 19. My father was briefly married and rapidly divorced again. Ultimately, he married again to someone with many children of her own.
Relationships within my family are thorny. Confrontation of any sort is avoided at any cost. Being 'nice' and 'peaceful' is paramount, because as long as we pretend peace the contrast between what actually is and what ought to be can be successfully ignored. Problems are never directly dealt with; our approach is to hope that it goes away. If someone voices strong emotion or disillusionment, that person is labeled as the problem instead of acknowledgement that there is an 'issue.' Over the years, I've been the lightning rod of controversy in that I've been willing to say what I felt (and perhaps what others were thinking). I've been compared to others, and found lacking. Sometimes, I was convinced that nothing I did was ever good enough and, frankly, it wasn't. There were years when my family felt like an ill fitting pair of jeans I was wearing backwards.
Family are those people who are 'supposed' to love you no matter what. Fathers and mothers represent our first inkling of who God is. Ideally, they love, provide, and sacrifice. God is continually referred to as our father in scripture. If one hasn't had a 'healthy' or 'safe' experience with their parents, it can be very hard to see the truth of who God is because our seminal experience was so warped. I have had a lot of anger over the evolution of my family. With every regime, there have been those who are 'in' and those who are 'out.' I have often been the 'out.' Some of the situations I have experienced are so nuts that if I wrote it down, even I wouldn't believe it!
There is a rather vulgar saying, "You can't polish a turd." (EWWWW--I know, I can't believe I put that in writing!!!!) That is a very base way of a saying that man is not capable of taking something ignoble and elevating it to a noble status. For example, you can't take tin foil and make a platinum ring. These many years later, I am finding how only God can redeem situations like these.
Guess what? Being THAT child allowed God to show me so many things that I never could have learned otherwise. He forged me into a person who could stand up to others but He also helped me to empathize with those who feel shunned. He taught me that even if I don't feel a sense of belonging with others, I always belong with Him. He has shown me that I'll always be His child even if my parents seem to forget me. (There is even a verse in the Old Testament that says, "Though your mother and father would disinherit you, I the Lord your God will not.")
The truth is, we will all fail one another. Only God never fails. God has been so beautiful to me. Where I once felt like I should 'pull myself up by my bootstraps,' I am now painfully aware that I am incapable of doing so. Instead, I have learned to look to God for provision and He has been so faithful in supplying ALL my needs. He has brought the right people at the right time into my life. He has comforted me with his presence and with the presence of others who love me.
Human nature is such that each one of us wants to be fully known and deeply loved. I believe that God created us to be this way, because we are made in His image. I know the error that I've made is that I have expected other people to fill the void in my heart that only God can occupy. Jesus says, "Seek and you shall find me." I have had to ask myself, "What is it that I am seeking? Who is it that I am seeking?" Sometimes, I haven't found what and/or who I've needed, because I have been looking in the wrong place. Sure, people have failed me. Truthfully, I've failed them as well. But God is teaching me to let go of my expectations and find release in Him. This is a freedom that has been a long time coming and I am thankful!
It is sometimes difficult to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and I don't particularly enjoy that sensation. However, most people I know struggle with their family: where they fit, how they feel, and how they relate within that group. So, I want to share these thoughts before Thanksgiving, because I am reminded that I have so much to be thankful for.
If one looked at my family tree, I'd suspect it would be an interesting tree. Not exactly pretty, but memorable. From a distance, it might look beautiful but a close inspection would illuminate all of it's many flaws. As a child, my brother and I went to live with my grandmother. My father was completing professional training at the time and needed help with us. For reasons that were never apparent to me until decades later, my mother left the family. I recall seeing her once when I was five. From then on, we had no contact that I remember. A year or two after she left, he remarried and subsequently had a child with this wife when I was seven. They divorced when I was 18 or 19. My father was briefly married and rapidly divorced again. Ultimately, he married again to someone with many children of her own.
Relationships within my family are thorny. Confrontation of any sort is avoided at any cost. Being 'nice' and 'peaceful' is paramount, because as long as we pretend peace the contrast between what actually is and what ought to be can be successfully ignored. Problems are never directly dealt with; our approach is to hope that it goes away. If someone voices strong emotion or disillusionment, that person is labeled as the problem instead of acknowledgement that there is an 'issue.' Over the years, I've been the lightning rod of controversy in that I've been willing to say what I felt (and perhaps what others were thinking). I've been compared to others, and found lacking. Sometimes, I was convinced that nothing I did was ever good enough and, frankly, it wasn't. There were years when my family felt like an ill fitting pair of jeans I was wearing backwards.
Family are those people who are 'supposed' to love you no matter what. Fathers and mothers represent our first inkling of who God is. Ideally, they love, provide, and sacrifice. God is continually referred to as our father in scripture. If one hasn't had a 'healthy' or 'safe' experience with their parents, it can be very hard to see the truth of who God is because our seminal experience was so warped. I have had a lot of anger over the evolution of my family. With every regime, there have been those who are 'in' and those who are 'out.' I have often been the 'out.' Some of the situations I have experienced are so nuts that if I wrote it down, even I wouldn't believe it!
There is a rather vulgar saying, "You can't polish a turd." (EWWWW--I know, I can't believe I put that in writing!!!!) That is a very base way of a saying that man is not capable of taking something ignoble and elevating it to a noble status. For example, you can't take tin foil and make a platinum ring. These many years later, I am finding how only God can redeem situations like these.
Guess what? Being THAT child allowed God to show me so many things that I never could have learned otherwise. He forged me into a person who could stand up to others but He also helped me to empathize with those who feel shunned. He taught me that even if I don't feel a sense of belonging with others, I always belong with Him. He has shown me that I'll always be His child even if my parents seem to forget me. (There is even a verse in the Old Testament that says, "Though your mother and father would disinherit you, I the Lord your God will not.")
The truth is, we will all fail one another. Only God never fails. God has been so beautiful to me. Where I once felt like I should 'pull myself up by my bootstraps,' I am now painfully aware that I am incapable of doing so. Instead, I have learned to look to God for provision and He has been so faithful in supplying ALL my needs. He has brought the right people at the right time into my life. He has comforted me with his presence and with the presence of others who love me.
Human nature is such that each one of us wants to be fully known and deeply loved. I believe that God created us to be this way, because we are made in His image. I know the error that I've made is that I have expected other people to fill the void in my heart that only God can occupy. Jesus says, "Seek and you shall find me." I have had to ask myself, "What is it that I am seeking? Who is it that I am seeking?" Sometimes, I haven't found what and/or who I've needed, because I have been looking in the wrong place. Sure, people have failed me. Truthfully, I've failed them as well. But God is teaching me to let go of my expectations and find release in Him. This is a freedom that has been a long time coming and I am thankful!
Friday, November 6, 2009
A Mother's Heart
I miss my children being babies! My heart yearns for those precious moments. I awake each day to children who have grown taller overnight. In my imagination, I still see them running down the hall, diaper whispering with each step. I can still smell the beautiful scent unique to each downy head. Their pink, teensie toes invite tickling and the soles of their feet are as soft as can be. Today, I live for their hugs just as they once lived by mine. They are growing up to be these amazing little people! The few short years from infancy to childhood are so precious to me. Irreplaceable! Those times are woven into my soul. These memories continue to feed me and bring me joy every day. Sometimes, I wonder if God feels that way about me. While my mind 'knows' that He does, it is hard to comprehend that God sees me for who I am and feels about me the way I feel about my children.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
What Carnivores Used To Eat
This isn't an essay, but I noticed this factoid for the first time today when I was reading Genesis. Genesis 1:30
And to all the beasts of the earth and all thee birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground-everything that has the breath of life in it-I give every green plant for food. And it was so."
According to this scripture, at least as I understand it and it is rather clear, all of the animals that we identify as carnivores were originally created to be herbivores!!!! WOW.
I have a very soft hearted friend who once asked me how a loving God could create animals that would prey upon each other. I think at the time I mentioned the verse where the Lord refers to how the earth will be a new creation when Christ returns "and the lion will lay down with the lamb and eat straw...." (I don't remember it's specific wording or location right now.) I am just amazed though that this was in Genesis all along and I never picked up on it.
God did not create a world that included death! We invited death in and made it a part of the fabric of this fallen world. However, one day when Christ returns, the world will again be as God intended.
Again, WOW!
And to all the beasts of the earth and all thee birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground-everything that has the breath of life in it-I give every green plant for food. And it was so."
According to this scripture, at least as I understand it and it is rather clear, all of the animals that we identify as carnivores were originally created to be herbivores!!!! WOW.
I have a very soft hearted friend who once asked me how a loving God could create animals that would prey upon each other. I think at the time I mentioned the verse where the Lord refers to how the earth will be a new creation when Christ returns "and the lion will lay down with the lamb and eat straw...." (I don't remember it's specific wording or location right now.) I am just amazed though that this was in Genesis all along and I never picked up on it.
God did not create a world that included death! We invited death in and made it a part of the fabric of this fallen world. However, one day when Christ returns, the world will again be as God intended.
Again, WOW!
Monday, September 7, 2009
What Does It Mean To Be Blessed?
My husband wrote this and it really touched me. He gave me permission to post it and I hope you find it encouraging.
What does it mean to be blessed?
I recently had the opportunity to help out in a particular situation for a family without the means to help themselves with certain needs. As I completed this experience I had some time to contemplate the situation and ponder some past experiences with what we in the United States consider a blessing. It has become very apparent to me over the last 5 or 6 years that the “church” (I use this in general terms) has associated money and wealth with blessing. I find this sad in that it completely distorts true blessing as Jesus referred to blessing in Mathew chapter 5 (known as the Sermon on the Mount). In the NIV, Jesus uses the word blessed 9 times in versus 3-11. Not one of those instances mentions, blessed are the wealthy. There is no Beatitude stating blessed are those that have much for they will get more. Even with just a cursory look, one will note that none of the Beatitudes are attributes that our modern Western society would consider blessings. Let’s see, poor in spirit; mourners; the meek; those seeking righteousness; the merciful; pure in heart; peacemakers; the persecuted; and last but not least those who are insulted for their faith in Jesus. The only one of these that I see as a possible “modern day” blessing is the peacemakers. But even they might be considered as weak and therefore not possessing an attribute that deserves our time or energy. So who are the blessed and what is the expectation of those who are blessed.
Jesus tells us who the blessed are in Mathew 5. It would be foolish of me to try and elaborate on His words (you can’t top perfection). So what is the point of the first paragraph and my recent experience? It is this, blessing is from God. Blessing isn’t happiness. Blessing is a deep joy and understanding of who you are in God’s eyes and being able to hear His voice and respond in a way that demonstrates the love He has for all of us in a meaningful and life changing way. My blessing wasn’t that I have the means to help but that I was able to help. There were so many things that needed to be done and only a small amount of that required money. The blessing was in the shared life experiences, the laughter, and the time spent together. The blessing was a hug, a word of thanksgiving, a smile and simply being in the presence of family. God provided me the means to be a servant. If we are unable to use what He has given us, whether that is money or a more meaningful gift like our time and love, then He will take what we do have and give it to someone else. To fully reap the blessings of God we must be willing to reach out to others with whatever He has blessed us with. This may mean making a 5 minute phone call when we’d rather send an e-mail. I sincerely hope that the church in America will move our focus from the “prosperity blessing message” to the true message of God’s blessings and what that really means and how it can change the world.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
When Daddy Comes Home
Normally, I like to write my thoughts and then polish them up later. I've been so busy with a move to Alaska that I don't have time to do that right now, but I wanted to share the briefest insight I had today. For the last month, the kids and I have been plugging along without Brad, without their daddy. We've experienced more than our fair share of meltdowns (some of them mine) and teary bedtimes. The kids have started a new school, a new schedule, and a transplant that has been anything but smooth. Jonathan keeps saying, "When is Daddy coming home?" Jacqueline keeps saying, "I wish Daddy were here!"
As I was driving today, a friend called. That person is experiencing a situation where their spouse just up and decided that they didn't want to be married anymore. When they called, Jacqueline, who has a big heart full of compassion asked, "How are they doing?" In that situation, there are children involved. This family is struggling along just as we are only their Daddy isn't coming home. Jacqueline and I talked about how hard it is to be without a Daddy, and her heart is so sad for this family.
In that moment I realized the parallel that we Christians have with my current status. I am slogging along up here in Alaska, two kids, a dog, a new house, boxes everywhere, and a stress level that exceeds the amount of cortisol my body is able to secrete. Each day, I do my best to compartmentalize....what is it that I have to accomplish today? I can't even think about tomorrow. But I find hope and comfort in knowing that in five 'short' weeks, Brad will be with us again. I reassure my children that Daddy IS coming back and that we just had to go ahead of him this time.
Similarly, we Christians are here on this earth though we are not of this world. We keep struggling each day to remember what it is that we need to accomplish. We find hope in knowing that we aren't alone in our efforts and that if Jesus went before us, he will return! Our Daddy is coming back for us. He has gone ahead to prepare a place for us so that where He is, there we may also be. Amen? My stressed out heart finds joy in remembering that He is faithful.
As I was driving today, a friend called. That person is experiencing a situation where their spouse just up and decided that they didn't want to be married anymore. When they called, Jacqueline, who has a big heart full of compassion asked, "How are they doing?" In that situation, there are children involved. This family is struggling along just as we are only their Daddy isn't coming home. Jacqueline and I talked about how hard it is to be without a Daddy, and her heart is so sad for this family.
In that moment I realized the parallel that we Christians have with my current status. I am slogging along up here in Alaska, two kids, a dog, a new house, boxes everywhere, and a stress level that exceeds the amount of cortisol my body is able to secrete. Each day, I do my best to compartmentalize....what is it that I have to accomplish today? I can't even think about tomorrow. But I find hope and comfort in knowing that in five 'short' weeks, Brad will be with us again. I reassure my children that Daddy IS coming back and that we just had to go ahead of him this time.
Similarly, we Christians are here on this earth though we are not of this world. We keep struggling each day to remember what it is that we need to accomplish. We find hope in knowing that we aren't alone in our efforts and that if Jesus went before us, he will return! Our Daddy is coming back for us. He has gone ahead to prepare a place for us so that where He is, there we may also be. Amen? My stressed out heart finds joy in remembering that He is faithful.
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