Looking Back

I am realizing that everyone, especially me, is prone to distraction. Maybe it is the desire for wealth or a preoccupation with the lack of it. Maybe it is preserving youth or achieving social standing. Regardless, we all have at least one thing in our hearts and minds that causes us to take our eyes off of God the father.

There are things in my line of sight that at times I want more than God. Things that I seek more relentlessly than my Father. I am guilty of looking back in longing for things that won't fill my soul or quench my wants.

As a military wife, I have left homes, friends, and beloved places behind. Make no mistake; it is so hard to leave! But the pain of leaving is always tempered by the excitement of what we are going TO. There is a thrill in discovering what God has next. As Lot & his wife were fleeing Sodom & Gomorrah, a place that was in total destruction, she looked BACK.

Lot's wife was literally being saved from a place of hedonism & despair. For some reason, she preferred that place of sin to the saving grace of God Almighty. She looked back and became a pillar of salt. She lost the future God had in store for her all for the desire of what she was leaving.

In my heart, there resides a certain ambivalence because I want both God and mammon which is patently impossible. It's impossible to have your heart in two places at once. In Luke 16:15, Christ says that what is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight.